This is one I’ve had to wrangle with the past several years because I’ve typically put myself on the back burner when it comes to needs. I have been a caretaker-type much of my life, a guide at times, but mostly a support system for other folks.

The trouble is, we have to care for ourselves, too. This is the main drive behind my desire to train for the marathon and get healthier all around in the process. After all, it’s my life to live, and no one else can live it for me. Time to do something about it.

I still have my moments where I fight to be consistent and not let things get out of hand, but as far as self-care goes, the biggest thing I’ve been doing for myself is journaling. I sometimes write just for 30 minutes by the timer, or in fits and starts for a minimum of 3 pages. The important thing is that I get something on the page.

I’ve gotten into journaling again because it helps clear my head out. On days like today when I haven’t journaled (forgot where I put it til a little bit ago), my thoughts are like traffic zooming through my head, occasionally crashing at the intersections and re-directing my thoughts or stopping them completely.

I don’t feel quite right when I don’t journal, and it’s a routine I’m trying to make constant again.

For one thing, I need to either write in a park or away from other people OR at home at my dining table with some instrumental music to establish a routine. My start-and-stop writing doesn’t feel the same or natural because I have to re-read what I was thinking about and it directs the next thoughts to focus on rather than just spilling out on the page. I figured out this weekend that I do better with a straight 30 minute timed session and then wrap up my last sentence or two at the end of it. Not go on for pages and pages over hours, even if it’s a lousy day and I feel the need.

This year I began adding quotes to start my entries in the journal. Sometimes I really can’t figure out what I should write about and they give me ideas. I often have a list of quotes from books I’ve been reading or folks I’m interested in, etc. so I just pick one to start things. I will inevitably go off tangent and find something related to the topic to write on stream of consciousness style and just keep going.

Journaling helps remove the mental clutter and helps me find my center early in the day. I used to journal right after I finished my exercise for the day and I was getting my first cup of coffee. It was a good time because it let me cool down a bit and relax with some comfortable sanity sauce and a good pen.

As far as self-care goes, I am hoping to make a balance between sleep, nutrition, and exercise a routine. Consistency is key, and is hard to accomplish when your mind is so scattered or you get distracted by a few bad days or circumstances.

So yes, plenty of small journaling today, and tomorrow is the re-establishment of the balance and an even better routine.