The past month has been insane for anything resembling plans, strategies, sleep schedules… you get the idea. My schedule has changed almost daily during that period, wrecking my sleep schedule, my diet plans, and especially my exercise. Not to mention all those attempts to do deep cleaning in my house have turned some areas reminiscent of a hoarder’s paradise.

At work we’ve been dealing with helping fundraise for my boss on her bereavement leave and cover her shifts for a few weeks. Then she gets back and was forced to go back home because of COVID. Now we had 2 days with her back and ANOTHER manager got COVID, so I had to cover extra shifts there, too.

My neighbor was nice enough to mow my front yard for me, which irked me to no end that I wasn’t in a position to take care of that myself. I have to get my fresh veggies taken care of tomorrow at the very least, cutting them up for my birds and myself if at all possible. I probably can’t eat much of what’s left in the fridge because I haven’t had much time for meal prep. I can’t wait to see what I can do now that I have a paycheck again and can shop at least a little.

Not much of a real cleaning the last month; just a shuffling of messes, which annoys me to no end. Thankfully, I’m off work tomorrow (for now) and I’ll be able to take my time truly evaluating what I need to do. Edit: In the middle of writing this, I got a text from boss that my co-worker needs 1 more day of COVID quarantine, so I gotta cover their shift tomorrow. That means I may lose one of my preferred shifts this week to prevent overtime. So, this describes what I’m feeling, but I’ll avoid showing tomorrow:

I started consulting my Tarot cards again this weekend. It’s not that I believe they have some mystical quality; it’s all in the questions you want answered and how you interpret the results. I go through my questions list, ask one, shuffle the deck, do the draw, and then write down what came up and summarize the meaning that could be interpreted from the cards with my handy-dandy reference book.

Great ice-breaker for the brain along with my first cup of coffee.

Because my ADHD brain has been more stressed and erratic than usual, the 3-card draw helps me focus on a specific feeling, problem, or future plans that need some pondering. I feel it’s actually quite similar to praying like when I was a believer: you end up thinking your way through the concern you were bringing up to the higher power and what comes out is your answered prayer (at least, that’s what I got out of it). It is a door to give me something to write about in my journal, and then some other ideas come out to play.

One of the big things I’ve learned I need to tackle is letting go a bit. I’ve let my stress drive my boat a bit too long and it’s no wonder my work-life balance, or my health pyramid has totally capsized. I was gritting my teeth a few days ago because my car was gonna be practically on fumes by the end of a shift and the little bit I got as a tip would be just enough to put a couple gallons of gas in the tank. So when you’re hanging on that tightly, seeing advice that you need to loosen up a bit is kind of rough. But at the same time, I feel that my narrow-mindedness over my situation has only created more problems. I need to breathe a bit, loosen my grip, and see what I can do with what I have right now.

I paused my iFit membership because I don’t have the money right now. Of course, the programs were going to be a huge help for getting me into shape and give me mileage so I can train for the Houston Marathon, so now I was left at an impasse. I had to re-think my plans for the next few months and see what would work out.

I gave things a try this Sunday when I went to the closest park to me after a shift at work. I also needed to break in my running shoes a bit, so I packed an outfit, changed at work, and went through the park and see where I could walk/jog offhand. There are many side-paths that meander around baseball fields and football practice fields, the duck ponds, etc. so it wouldn’t be very boring at all. Some are on concrete, some are more like gravel trails. I did the longest unbroken path around and back to my car in 1.32 miles. Did a bit over 2 yesterday, and today I tried some of those paths and got 3.98. My feet started hurting a bit and I was running low on water, or else I would’ve gone a bit further and made my goal of 4 miles.

Going to run at the park was always in my plans because elliptical training is not nearly enough to do the job alone of getting me ready, so if anything, this budget crunch just made me hit my “road training’ part a lot sooner. Add in some earbuds on wires and my iPod so I can listen to podcasts in one ear as I go gives me a boost. I like the idea of using that time to learn something new.

So now I get to combine park walks/runs with outside yardwork as my main bits of exercise to get and stay healthy. I can only hope it works out pretty well as I focus on looking for other jobs and getting good recipes together so I can eat healthier and not throw out any more food. I can’t stand the idea of all that waste right now, and don’t want to do it again.

So, that’s what life is throwing my way right now. I’m gonna see what opportunities I can make out of this this week… and hope I keep my cashier shifts in the next few days so I can help other folks out and give my brain that break it needs so damned badly (I tend to needlepoint or use my loom to make stuff when I can’t focus on reading… kinda my version of a “fidget spinner.”). And I’ll need that bit of mental help because tomorrow is the busiest damned day of the week with the most employees I’ll need to supervise. The best I can hope for is no problems at this point (groan).

Speaking of mental health, it’s time for me to get some sleep so I can get all these things I should be doing tomorrow done in rapid succession. Going to wake up early and nap before shift to ensure stuff gets done.