My emotions were such a roller-coaster this morning I got fed up with my current situation and started applying to multiple jobs, whether they’d be the best idea for me or not. And one was good with “drop-in” interviews, so I went.

My sports bar job has cut my hours quite a bit due to changes, and I’ve been scheduled at a lower-pay rate position about half the time this month. But even if I went back to key manger full time, I’m not making enough money. Serving shifts don’t help me because thanks to it’s age, previous uncaring owners, and lack of advertising, my location just doesn’t get much foot traffic. We’ve got our regulars who like us, but even some of them ask if we’re closing down now and again.

I’m in a position where trying to stay where I’m at is gonna metaphorically kill me. Even if I was working full time again, I have no money I can put into reserves. Definitely no money to pay for more charity runs to join, or even my subscription to iFit so I can train when my schedule doesn’t let me go to the park.

I’m one bad check away from having to sell everything that isn’t nailed down to pay my bills. So, I took the plunge today.

An entertainment complex was looking for servers and bartenders, so I sent in my application and went to the drop-in interview. The retail place I was hoping would hire me (easily the best-paying place for entry level work) has given me no response for months, and I can’t wait for them. I figured I’ve been in food service, so maybe this was a foot in the door.

Imagine my surprise when she saw my application and said they were full up on servers, but could use bartenders instead and asked if I’d be interested. I hadn’t bothered to apply to that because when I saw “urgently hiring,” I figured they wanted already trained bartenders.

This is where the elation turns to terror, but I tried to keep calm and just accept the possibility, and said “yes” when asked if I’d be willing. I’ve been intimidated by bartending because of my location. The new spot is undergoing a major renovation and re-opening, and they’re gonna have to train and re-train bartenders on the new menu that’s coming out, so I’d fit right in.

And the good thing is this would ensure consistency in drink-making, which I’ve seen be a problem in other bars… and one of Jon Taffer’s pet peeves in business (one that I can fully understand).

Group training gave me some relief, but wow… 42 years old and finally training to be a bartender? I just hope I can keep up, & that they accept. I’ll find out by Monday night whether I get to the next steps, and I’ll want to turn in my notice ASAP.

I kinda hoped I’d be a food runner or busser, because that’s usually what I do while managing at my current job… but I had to remind myself that at some point, I WANTED to learn how to bartend. I need to get comfortable with putting myself out there in the world, to talk and stretch myself more. I’d gotten fearful and lazy over the years, and that doesn’t bode well for education or achieving goals.

I literally cannot afford to keep doing that.

And though this feels like it could be a terrible step backward on the surface(making less per hour as base pay, after all), the starting rate is higher than typical in this state for bartenders and servers PLUS tips. A few customers an hour would put me well in the “I can pay my bills and not flinch” category, which is the short-term goal I need to reach fast.

I’m going to do some reading, video watching (in between shifts and housework) and see if I can do some pour training with old bottles I saved and put aside. I’ve got jiggers and will need to practice with those, too. I bought them months ago thinking I was gonna bartend train at my current job, but it just never happened.

This is going to be interesting and not a little bit terrifying. The good thing is most if not all shifts I would have backup, whereas in my current location, they only have 1 bartender at a time on shift. That’s probably why I never bothered to make a stink about learning, because I didn’t want to be put in that position of feeling woefully unprepared and making customers angrier as I fell behind. They have so many servers and key staff trained as bartenders, anyway, that it felt pointless.

So yeah, this is gonna be an intense weekend. The good thing is I will have time to study on shift because I’m at the register, not managing. I have mixology books and will look for apps that’ll give me some basic drinks I need to know how to make. Definitely gonna bring my index cards and recipe box so I can write down the most typical ones instead of relying on the stupid AI-laden results for “common bartending drinks” (newbie bartenders in training tried to use ’em a few times and they were insanely bad recipes, but good for a laugh).

I know we can’t count our chicks before they hatch, but if I don’t get the call back, I’m going to apply to another location. It’s time to stretch, and mixology makes me curious, so win-win.

Time to rise up to the challenge… against my own fear. Time to do better than survive, but thrive. And time to channel this excitement into my legs and re-start my elliptical program in an hour, because I’ve got enough energy to go for miles…subscription service be damned.