Well… thousands of them, I suppose, sometimes back to the start, sometimes not.

In my case, this is a step that should’ve been taken care of ages ago, but as with many things in life, it’s 3 steps forward, 2 steps back. Sometimes some line-dancing gets thrown in that makes you look like you’re going somewhere, but you’re back to where you started, just a bit more winded with a few blisters to show for it.

My steps toward THIS journey began late in April, when I got to thinking of ways I could get back into volunteering while being more active. I used to volunteer my time so often in college, whether for fundraising (my bean chili was a staple in a lot of “bake sales” for different clubs) or docent work at the museums. But life did it’s thing and I suddenly had more responsibilities that kept me closer to home. And I would donate when I could, but that was about it.

That’s when I got to thinking about the Houston Marathon…again… and wondering if I could ever get fit enough to participate in that. I liked the idea that if I could choose a charity to run for and raise funds, I could waive the entry fee and they could get more money in the long run, anyway. My finances are so tight I hesitate to buy much of anything, but if I could learn how to fundraise again and make friends, well, it would help. And it would inspire me to do more.

What was stopping me–other than the money–was the fact that I’m about 80 lbs overweight and have been for so long I have no clue what I would look like at a so-called “normal” for my size weight. I’ve been chubby since I was 10 and only got chubbier. It sucked because I was a really active kid, and then all of a sudden I was a shut-in and we didn’t have freedom to roam the neighborhood or anyone to play with anymore. So, I ate to cope… and never stopped.

But I woke up one day in late April and was hit by a revelation: why not try and see how fit I can get and take time off work to do the Houston Marathon? I had about 260 days and my research suggested if I was diligent and ate right and drank my water and gave it my best, there was no reason I shouldn’t be able to do the marathon. After another day of research, I began to plan.

The trouble with my thinking has been the same trouble I’ve had for years: when I get healthier, then I can do X. Well, why not go ahead and start training, since all that time, effort, and exercise to make sure you cross the finish line on race day will surely have some health benefits and perhaps… help you lose the weight? Why this didn’t occur to me sooner?

Oh yeah, fear of change, failure, success changing things.

Vicious circle.

I had overdone it for a couple of weeks when I was experimenting on walking/jogging times and I’ve had to rest up, but starting May 15th, I’ve made it my goal to work out and prepare for the marathon within reason, and to learn to fundraise to get that entry fee waived.

I chose the Houston Food Bank because I’d seen the help they’ve given during times of crisis and the dire need folks have for affordable food during these crazy times, a situation that’s only gotten worse over the years. I’ve helped them out before and wanted to continue doing so. And i hope to make this a seasonal or yearly thing: racing for a cause.

More than that, though, I’m SO curious how things will turn out. Either way, I’m gonna feel great come January if I don’t give up.